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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24288097">To belong</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruuuka/pseuds/Ruuuka'>Ruuuka</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Canon Fix-It, cheese&amp;mush is my meat&amp;wine, lil sad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:40:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,353</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24288097</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruuuka/pseuds/Ruuuka</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>While out in the world with the Guardians, Thor leaves a trail of crumbs behind, just in case.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki &amp; Thor (Marvel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>To belong</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Asgardian Seal was actually something between a gemstone and a living plant. With the appearance of a faintly glowing, spongy flower, roots easily holding on and petals quickly developing, it survived anywhere for hundreds of years without specific nourishment.</p>
<p>Thor had placed the first of these among the ages-old rubble of the Statesman, once he'd convinced the Guardians to return for a check-up. They barely argued for more than an hour, they had long before deciphered his determination from half-heartedly dropped notes.</p>
<p>Bruce, or Professor Hulk, had told him back then:</p>
<p>"There is something that I haven't-... I've been wondering ever since but I haven't asked about it, or looked into it. It’s about the time when I used the Gauntlet.” He gazed down onto Thor’s bearded, attentive face, seemingly lost. “You see, you and I’d talked before, and when I was thinking the order for the stones, I sought for our loved ones, yours as well. The ones I knew. Or the <em>one</em>, actually, now that I think about it. Sorry. I could barely think straight.”</p>
<p>“Don’t ever feel guilty for anything like that,” the thunder god squeezed his bulky arm. “The past is the past. But who are you talking about?”</p>
<p>“Well… your brother, obviously. I knew him and all. I know you mourned for him amongst others. And I didn’t know too much of your Mom or that gatekeeper guy, and it would have been-”</p>
<p>“You’re saying… that you brought Loki back?”</p>
<p>Hulk shrugged sheepishly from the weight in the slightly suffocated question.</p>
<p>“I’m-I’m really not sure if I managed, I can't remember being able to contact him. And he hasn’t appeared since, after all, has he? So I have no idea what happened. I just know I tried, that's all. I was just thinking that you ought to know. I have a guess, though,” he added quickly. “Everyone was brought back to the place they’d been last, right? So maybe he was brought back in the middle of space, or the space rubble that was left of the Statesman. It might have been a misfortunate turn, or he might have survived, I don’t know, how much can your kind endure?”</p>
<p>“A lot, actually,” Thor breathed, shifting in his seat with suppressed tension. “Loki has floated through space before, as have I, and we both survived it.”</p>
<p>“God, that would be a relief. You see, it’s been bugging me that he didn't show up, neither in the battle against Thanos, nor later.”</p>
<p>“If not dead, he could be stirring trouble someplace else. Maybe he’s plotting another grand comeback."</p>
<p>“Or,” Hulk was also quiet now, almost shy; “he might have been gotten <em>in</em> trouble, like picked up by an offensive bunch and held captive, or something worse.”</p>
<p>“Could be,” the thunder god muttered before himself, not revealing what he really felt.</p>
<p>Later, however, before leaving the Avengers Tower for good, he couldn’t help but turn back and step up to Bruce one more time.</p>
<p>“He might come back here,” he whispered turning away from the others’ curious gazes, worried they’d detect and laugh at the baseless, naïve hope in his voice. “If he asks for me, only if he’s not imprisoned, of course, because he’s done some wrong to humans, but just in case he asks or if you hear about him appearing in New Asgard, tell him… preferably before he’d do anything offensive, let him know I’m not here but-”</p>
<p>“He’ll find you,” Bruce smiled down at him with a heavy hand on his shoulder, his conviction warming the thunder god’s heart.</p>
<p><em>If he’s really back</em>, he added in his thoughts.</p>
<p>So Thor crossed the Universe and left a Seal in each travel hub his current team passed through; sometimes more, because he was a horrible tactician, wouldn't know a surefire spot to place the mark so the target person found it before the decorative piece called unwanted attention.</p>
<p>His blindly made choices would torment him while he wasn't busy pouring mead down his throat. He would spill the remaining seeds into his palm and count them with his calloused fingers. The very fact that they now fitted into his palm clenched his stomach. He couldn't see the road past the last seed. Of course, he would brave the unknown like he had done many times before, but right now, it felt foreign amidst this process of seeking.</p>
<p>"What are you gonna do if you do meet again?" Quill asked once as he observed the muttering count with a beer in hand.</p>
<p>"I'll kill him for his delay," Thor said simply.</p>
<p>A while later, his parched soul demanded never-coming tears as he pressed his thumb to the wall, planting the last seed deep into the gap between a screw and its socket, to leave it in a protected environment. End of the trail, he acknowledged. They had one more day at this place, he hoped. He could as well stay behind here, he mused. After all, had he been going anywhere in the first place? Then again, wouldn't staying in place be the less tactical solution? He had an entire day to circle around the dilemma, he thought, and he watched the meticulous ceremony as the seed held onto the moldy surface with tiny legs and then sprouted, arching slowly like in a lazy morning. He didn’t wait pointlessly for the finish: he was aware he couldn’t guard it till the end of times, it wasn’t in him to stay put for <em>nothing</em>.</p>
<p>He returned to the alleyway the next day, however, and then he wished he hadn’t. The Seal was gone already; carved out along with the hope from his heart, snatched away by some collector of shiny treasures as soon as it came into bloom. It had probably been the fate of the previous seeds as well. Not like he had the right to rage over that, it was his own foolishness to believe this simplistic act could lead anywhere. Cursing his childishness, the disappointment gnawing at him, his forehead bent over the empty spot in helplessness, his fist pressed to the wall in a desire to collapse the entire structure. Then he composed himself and walked out into the dusky daylight.</p>
<p>He thought at first that it was a wishful mirage, but as his look darted back, he easily discerned the meekly pulsating glow at the opposite end of the trade square. He rummaged through his recent memories under a frown, but he couldn't recall what would have settled the rush of blood in his veins. He walked closer through the bustling crowd then to detect his mistake. He took his time, relishing the sensation of doubt before taking in the chilled reality.</p>
<p>His fingers trembled slightly at his attempt for a gentle caress on the spongy petals. The touch was real. He glanced around to find someone who might have been here while the Seal was placed. It's when he spotted another familiar glint in an alleyway.</p>
<p>His shoulders accidentally tossed a few creatures smaller than him on his way there, curses followed him for a few long steps. The Seal beamed up at him from the discarded rubble, and he knew he'd never have noticed this entry on his own. He walked on deeper into the ominous corridor, his steps echoing high over the faraway city rumble, and his palm itched for the Stormbreaker.</p>
<p>Nothing found him, though, nothing but the sturdy plant his fingers nested around on a corner wall in the next minute, his struggling breaths warming it while he stared from up close to entrap the phenomenon within his eyes. He despised the silly hope flaring up in him; a silent shake of his head vowed to slay whoever was playing him like this, friend or foe, knowing or not.</p>
<p>He ran towards the next glowing spot, and then past it, out onto another semi-covered aula with rickety vendor stands and chanting demands for attention. He followed the subtle trail across the metallic pavement, threw himself into another street, climbed a series of steps out of breath, pushing his slackened body to its limit, as if the Seals leading him would have diminished after a minute's existence. He hurried along a stained glass corridor, took an elevator of doubtful reliability, and he found himself back on the square he started from. He felt his insides heat and tremble, unseen to any observer; only his eyes glowed faintly in electric blue as they flickered around the area in the shade of his eyebrows, unmoving as a hunter seeks out the right prey. The bustling crowd gave no answer to his unvoiced question. Instead, a Seal invited him along the wall behind him as he turned. And he obeyed, but this time slowly, bent on perceiving any sign of being observed. He would find his playful deceiver, and he'd snap each of their bones with a single hand. No matter who it was.</p>
<p>This time, he collected the Seal into the pocket of his tattered fleece cardigan. The next ones, too. He walked slowly along the newly appointed and just as capricious trail, pushing his tormentor’s patience. He couldn’t have quit the chase if he’d wanted to, but <em>they</em> would. If not else, they’d run out of Seals. And then face him to perish, or elope with their measly life.</p>
<p>The next round was, or just felt, longer due to his impatience, the growing number of possibilities flooding his mind; and the increasingly senseless locations of the Seals.</p>
<p>"I'll break your neck with two fingers," Thor promised the hider while climbing the escape stairs to a glint on the roof, in case they were around to laugh, although it sounded more plausible that they were several steps ahead of him, especially because he started detecting more of the small gleams at once, indicating that they would be placed closer to each other now. The more convenient for him, he hissed to the abandoned surroundings, the sooner he'd have all the seeds in the stuffed pockets of his cardigan, and then...</p>
<p>He sped up once again to have the end result at last. He didn't stop at the familiar square: lightly wheezing from the long not done exercise, he bellowed curses and threats into the crowd and the echoing alleyways as he steadily marched on. He clambered mercilessly for the inconveniently placed plants.</p>
<p>Until they disappeared at the end of an abandoned street, finally. He laughed faintly through his panting, leaning on his knees. "What now, imp?" he sneered aloud, groping his two stuffed pockets that added to the size of his stomach. He turned around in that self-satisfied manner to perceive his surroundings, several times, his smile gradually fading as time crept on in silence. However, he sought the expected nervousness in vain, finding only a kind of ease in its place.</p>
<p>"Right," he stated. "If you won’t show, then let that be all then. My game has finished today, and yours shall now, too." He couldn't tell if he was heard, but each word left him easier, so he spoke on. "Before today, I have made a path of these plants in my wake, in a foolish endeavour, but it was dear to me. I was looking for my brother, hoping that if he was also out in the world, he'd take the effort to find me and end this tormenting doubt. I left these behind me to meet him one day," he repeated with a hint of salt at the back of his throat. "It gave me hope while it lasted. I do not know who you are, but you've had your fun with me. I will not strive to harm you any longer, or to know why it is your resort to punish me like this. You are free from my rage, and from my care."</p>
<p>He was taking his way back during his last sentence already, and a long breath from his hollow chest helped him let go freely. It was time to move on.</p>
<p>Thus, the glint in the corner of his eye found him unprepared and unable to resist snapping his head that way. He gazed long towards the Seal on the corner wall before shaking his head slowly, morosely. "We are finished with this, my friend," he grunted between his teeth and walked away swiftly.</p>
<p>His body halted on its own when he looked back and saw two plants instead of one. He couldn't guess who was swift and soundless enough to dance around his perception like that, but they were very playful or very persistent. The third Seal on his formerly chosen path as he turned forward again found the way to pierce his heart with its glow. He did not want to play this, he did not want to be suspecting anything he was, it pained him, then the truth would pain him, he did not want this.</p>
<p>Yet he stepped back towards the newest plant so close to his boots, as if begging to follow. His heart wailing both in protest and in impatience, he trod along the thickening line of Seals on the ground, speeding up more and more and not caring to bend down for them.</p>
<p>"Who are you?" his desperation bellowed near the scarce wood where the last street led, and without waiting for an answer, he jogged out into the open along the glowing line, now so dense it looked like a continuous rope a step ahead. And they led on to the muddy canal at the opposite end of the field of greyed trees within his sight now, scattering into a puddle of azure moonshine on the bank.</p>
<p>Air left his lungs in short puffs as he walked timidly towards the figure idling behind the sea of plants, or in the middle of it, it was too blurred to see well through the glow. But the shadow was looking towards him on its aimless stroll, it showed in the outlines that Thor recognised without a hint of doubt.</p>
<p>“You, you vile trickster,” he breathed the moment he launched towards his brother. A hand gesture demanded him to stay in place, but he wouldn’t listen, not even when Loki backed up, preparing a dagger but still insisting on the distance. Thor’s intentions varied so rapidly that he could barely choose, he wanted to crush and strangle and mince up his tormentor at the same time, or one after the other; in the end, he proceeded to run into the measly knife his body was well acquainted with, and pull in the thin body for an angered, suffocating embrace.</p>
<p>It was empty air his arms engulfed, and the illusion dissipated in a green scorch.</p>
<p>A minute passed with him just breathing amidst the gradually dimming glow, mourning over his helplessness against the perceived cruelty, his exposure. Then, from the stretching silence, his patience ran out.</p>
<p>“How much more till you’ve amused yourself enough?” he bellowed turning around. He didn’t react when he faced the sorcerer leaning to a tree with his upper body nearby, glaring at Thor’s cardigan as if a look could have set it on fire.</p>
<p>Loki remained silent, motionless. He waited in that manner until the thunder god approached with the lingering grudge shading his eyes, and only then did he separate from the tree, his look on the ground by then.</p>
<p>Thor stopped a few feet away for a moment to stare at the other’s movements, his lips muttering unwittingly.</p>
<p>“Brother, if this is a trick, I swear to the Norns-”</p>
<p>Loki was limping on his left leg, his lips tight instead of answering. Not looking up, he stopped in front of the taller god; his right hand moved as if presenting himself, but the left arm remained hanging by his side. The same hand pushed Thor’s away when they came to hold him for closer examination, although his torso then leaned to the thunder god’s arm on the other side. He was looking downwards while he stumbled and pulled at the tattered cardigan for balance, eager to be free from his brother’s support, but Thor barely noticed, as he was holding him with both hands at the next moment, to get a better look at his face.</p>
<p>“Speak to me, Loki. Tell me what happened to you. A curse? Some battle move?”</p>
<p>The sorcerer’s vehement headshake and bent head grew into a gap in his chest.</p>
<p>“Tell me, Loki. Please,” he pleaded, more to the Norns than his brother, his voice hoarser than before. “Don’t play tricks on me, not such a cruel prank.”</p>
<p>The tears trailing down from one green eye (the other was paler, almost white) were his own that he didn’t shed. It was but a glimpse, immediately hidden into his chest, and he returned the gesture with a welcoming embrace to pull the trembling shoulders closer, to shield from what he couldn’t see. He derived slowly that Loki lead him around to cool his temper beforehand, because he had no voice to explain himself, and no power to defend against his rage. Or perhaps he was ashamed of what he had become. And Thor wanted to rid the world of the one who made his brother like this, he wanted to rewind and do it again and again and again, so they both remembered each time.</p>
<p>He let the embrace loosen when Loki leaned back, his face wet, his downcast eyes huge and his lips mourning his dignity lost. It was a kind of fragility that Loki never showed, and at the same time, it was his very own tragedy to boast of.</p>
<p>“Did he do this?” Thor asked fainter than he had wanted to. “Thanos?”</p>
<p>He almost missed his brother’s faint shrug with the good shoulder, because the sorcerer pushed further away meanwhile, labouring to get rid of the reluctantly ceasing protective hold. It caused him to stumble, so Thor helped him sit in the grass at the base of the tree, and then he settled next to him.</p>
<p>They sat around in silence, the sorcerer lightly heaving from the effort. He kept a hand on his paralysed leg, as if mourning over it.</p>
<p>“Does it hurt?” Thor asked.</p>
<p>Loki gazed at his lap without a response. Thor thought that the physical pain, if any, was irrelevant compared to what must have been going on inside his brother. He was never good at guessing his thoughts. Maybe his intentions. But not the ways of his thinking. They were way too different, and he was never too perceptive of such intricacies. If they resonated, more often in their youth but still at times in the present, it happened in ways other than words.</p>
<p>He dug into his stuffed pocket and held out a plant to the sorcerer.</p>
<p>Loki stared at it for a moment before holding out his palm and letting Thor place the Seal in it. His forehead got wrinkled questioningly when several more plants followed suit one by one. The thunder god continued the ceremony even after there were so many they overflowed in the palm and Loki let them pour into his lap.  </p>
<p>Only around the last ones did Thor speak up.</p>
<p>"You hold onto these, brother. Take good care of them. I know you’re not the kind to follow me around at all times, and you often get yourself in trouble. When that happens, you have no voice to call, but you can use these to lead me to you."</p>
<p>He couldn’t see Loki’s face from the raven-locks veiling it; most likely on purpose, because when he bent to ask for a response, the sorcerer leaned to his shoulder to hide.</p>
<p>And then he stayed like that for the night. Thor didn’t find it urgent to notify the Guardians of his whereabouts, whether to make them wait or to bid them to travel on without him: it was fine either way. Just now, he remembered that it’s not a place he or his people were looking for. As for him, he had found again where he belonged.</p>
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